I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
