Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
