i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
