She went from zero to smokin in five shots
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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