Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
