why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
