It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
