Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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