i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
