This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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