Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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