Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
are you so shy because you have an std?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize