When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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