hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
