is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
