If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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