i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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