their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
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There's a naked man in my car right now.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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