Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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