WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
