I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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