The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
