I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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