I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
