i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
