we have officially lost it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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