ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
