some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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