She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
