Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
