I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
