Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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