I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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