it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
