Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
