I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize