This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
