I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
