I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
