We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
