So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
