so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize