His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
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Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize