The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
