all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
