Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
