If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize