She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
no, he came in my armpit
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize