Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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