Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
