dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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