If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
