the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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