so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize