Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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