mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
