the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
